Brick
by cocoabean123
Summary: With Hermione's terminal illness out in the open, Ron finds himself struggling to cope. My first attempt at fanfic-please R/R. Rated PG-13, to be on the safe side.
1. Drowning

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Brick

Chapter One: Drowning

Author's Note: Hey everyone, this is my first fic, so I hope you like it. I'm trying hard to make it as long as possible, so I apologize for any short chapters that I "publish." I'll most likely be revising each chapter; so keep checking back. Please R/R. Thanks! All comments are appreciated!

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Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own the Harry Potter characters. *sigh* Nor do I own the lyrics to the Ben Folds Five song, "Brick."

She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly

Off the coast and I'm headed nowhere

She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly

Ron Weasley had never felt more terrible in his life. Throughout his nineteen years in the magical world, he thought he could handle anything, overcome any obstacle. He never contemplated the fact that the world he lived in was not perfect. It was all he'd ever known.

He would never forget the day she told him. The day when his seemingly perfect world turned upside down, and everything became unimportant to him-except for her.

Hermione Granger had been Ron's girlfriend since the end of fifth year, when he had finally gotten the nerve to ask her out. He'd had help from Harry, and Ginny, of course, but the words he had said that day had been his own, straight from the heart. He smiled sadly at the memory, the memory that was etched into his mind like a carving on stone. Slowly, his thoughts drifted back to the day when she had told him.

It had been a warm summer day, filled with endless possibilities, and he remembered perfectly the events that took place that morning: breakfast with his family, a game of Exploding Snap with Ginny. Fred and George's explosions in their room. And her. Hermione had been visiting the Weasley's that summer, and it was her second week staying with the family. With a shudder, Ron recalled her pale face and hollow eyes. It was like she was living but not really there. He remembered her cold arms around his neck, the saddest of smiles upon her thin face. He knew what was happening. He'd secretly known all along. He just didn't want to admit it.

"Ron?" Her timid voice whispered.

"Hmm?" His heart was pounding. He tried to control the shaking, but it was everywhere- his arms, his legs. He tried to pinch himself through her embrace, to make sure he wasn't dreaming. How he wished he was.

He closed his eyes. He didn't want to hear the words, didn't want her to tell him anything except she would be with him for the rest of his life. _Childish hopes, _he thought. _This is the real world. _

Hermione's bottom lip trembled as she spoke the words he'd been dreading to hear for four months.

"I…I have cancer."


	2. Alone

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Brick

Chapter Two: Alone

Author's Note: Sorry the last chapter was so short; I'm still new to the wonderful world of fanfics. (Cheesy? You bet!) Anyway, please R/R. Thanks!

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Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own the Harry Potter characters. Nor do I own the lyrics to the Ben Folds Five song, "Brick."

Now that I have found someone

I'm feeling more alone

Than I ever have before

Several weeks after Hermione announced that she was sick, she was admitted to a wizard hospital close to the Burrow. Ron promised to visit her every day, as he had not yet found a job.

Eventually, Ron knew he would have to break his promise. The pain from daily treatments and medications caused Hermione to be irritable, tired, and weak. He knew she was getting worse with each passing day. He knew he should've been positive, a beacon of hope, as his father would say. But he knew…he knew when he looked into her eyes. She would be leaving him. And he had never felt more alone than when he looked into those empty, lifeless eyes.

Ron entered her hospital room one evening to find her sitting up in bed, fully awake. He smiled at the small improvement. Crossing the room in three strides, he kissed her forehead lightly before settling himself in the rather uncomfortable plastic chair by the window.

"Miss Granger, your dinner is ready!" A plump nurse with short black hair entered the room, carrying a large dinner tray piled with unidentifiable amounts of cafeteria food.

Hermione forced a smile. "Y…yummy," she mumbled, her face slightly green. Ron looked at the contents of the tray. Something smelly that resembled steak, petrified mashed potatoes, and jello sprinkled with…what was that? Red hots?

"Not too bad," he exclaimed, accepting the tray from the nurse, who promptly left.

Hermione took one look at the food and shoved the tray aside, her delicate fingers making Ron's stomach drop. _She's so thin, _he thought, looking at her. He quickly turned his attention back to the food- he wanted Hermione to eat something, anything.

"Aw, come on, 'Mione, this is quality stuff," he said slyly, waving the jello dish under her nose. 

Hermione's eyes widened, and without warning, she threw up. Hastily Ron attempted to throw the jello dish back onto the tray. It missed and landed on the floor with a clatter.

"Bloody hell, I'm so sorry!" he mumbled, his eyes wide in alarm as he managed to clean her up with a large napkin. "Can I get you anything?" 

Hermione shook her head. Her breathing was shallow and her eyes were bloodshot. Cold sweat was forming on her forehead.

"Oh my God! You look terrible!"

"Thanks," she wheezed sarcastically, clutching the bed sheet closer to her thin, limp form. She shivered violently before turning on her side.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Me too."

The impact of those simple words made Ron burst into tears. _Oh my God, you're giving up on her, _he thought to himself. _Turn around so she won't see you. No use making her upset._ But after he'd calmed down, he realized he hadn't been the only one crying. Hermione's sniffles made him turn around. Silent tears poured down her cheeks. "I don't want to die!" She sobbed, writhing in pain.

Once again, Ron had never felt more alone.


	3. Anger

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Brick

Chapter Three: Anger

Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews, but I want MORE! Lol. Please give me your opinion, even if you don't like the story. I'll accept comments, suggestions, anything. Just review the story please. Heehee. 

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Disclamier: I think ya'll know the drill by now. Right?

By the time August rolled around, Hermione wasn't showing any signs of recovery. For weeks her hair had been falling out rapidly, large, thick clumps often seen in the wastepaper basket by the bed. She tried to hide her semi-baldness with wigs, but Ron noticed she seemed oddly disfigured when wearing one, as if the wig swallowed her.

Hermione's doctor had begun given her Muggle treatments in hopes of seeing improvement, but they did much more harm than good.

Ron's daily visits were often occupied by watching a sleeping Hermione, whose treatments made her quite groggy.

In the rare times when she was awake, they reminisced about their memories from Hogwarts. While re-telling a particularly funny story one afternoon, Ron was alarmed when Hermione's laugh turned into a violent, hacking cough. 

"Nurse! Can I get a nurse in here?" Ron shouted desperately, his eyes widening in fear as he watched his helpless girlfriend writhe on the bed.

A young nurse with blonde hair rushed into the room, her high heels clicking loudly on the linoleum floor. Her robes swished from side to side as she quickly filled a vial with fluid.

"What's that?" Ron asked. He had a horrible image in his mind, a nightmare that involved Hermione being poisoned by the nurse.

"Medication." She replied promptly in an irritated tone as she plunged the vial into Hermione's forearm. "The nurse on duty forgot to give Miss Granger her medicine at noon."

Ron's face screwed up in anger as he shouted the words, "AREN'T YOU PEOPLE SUPPOSED TO BE PROFESSIONALS? HOW HARD IS IT TO REMEMBER A MEDICATION, FOR GOD'S SAKE? YOU'RE JUST GOING TO LET HER DIE?!" His voice echoed through the empty room and he stopped, short of breath.

Hermione's eyes filled with tears, her face turning red in embarrassment.

The nurse looked at Ron angrily, answering him in a shrill but calm voice. "Miss Granger needs her rest now. Visiting hours are _over._" 

Ron, still angry by the events that had just taken place, stood up quickly, knocking the plastic hospital chair over. He picked it back up and walked out the door, slamming it shut behind him.


	4. Regrets

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Brick

Chapter Four: Regrets

Author's Note: The usual. Read and review, if possible. Thanks!

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Disclamier: I own nothing.

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Can't you see

It's not me you're dying for 

Ron woke up later than usual the next morning, the sunlight streaming through his open window. He yawned and rolled over. _Maybe I shouldn't visit Hermione today, _he thought, guiltily reminding himself of the previous day's outburst. _She was pretty upset. Why do I have to screw things up all the time? _He shook his head to clear his thoughts and stood up, his mind set on what he had to do. 

"Ron! What are you doing here?" Hermione looked up, surprise to see his tall frame leaning against the doorway to her hospital room.

He took a tentative step forward, his hands clutching a bouquet of flowers he had picked himself. "I came to say I'm sorry," he muttered, too afraid to look in her eyes.

"What are those?" She seemed more interested in the roses than what Ron had to say.

"Roses. For you. But listen, I wanted to tell you…"

"I love roses."

"Er…ok." He replied cautiously. She reached for the bouquet, like a child begging for presents on Christmas morning. He gently handed it over, his hand brushing against hers. Her hand was freezing cold.

"These are so beautiful. When I was little, I always planned on having roses just like these in my wedding. Lots of pretty pink and red roses- I guess it's not going to happen now."

"Don't say that!"

"It's true, Ron. I heard Dr. Murray talking to my parents this morning. He said I only have a couple of weeks left, before I…" her voice trailed off as she set the roses on the nightstand table.

Her words had come as a huge shock to him, and he fell on his knees the moment she had finished speaking. He didn't know why he had been so surprised. He knew that Hermione was dying; he knew that she didn't have much time yet. But now, the harsh certainty of her words made it all real.

He shakily stood up, reminding himself that he had to be strong for her. He grabbed the back of the plastic hospital chair to steady himself.

"Ron, I wish it didn't have to be this way. There's so much I wanted to do with my life- I wanted to be successful…and happy. I wanted lots of children. And…I wanted all of that to include you." She grabbed his hand, giving him a shaky smile. Then the tears came, large tears that slid down her seemingly non-existent cheeks. Tears of sadness, pain, and anger. Ron didn't know what to do, didn't know how to react. But he didn't have to think. He was crying too.


	5. Gone

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Brick

Chapter Five: Gone

Author's Note: Review…review…did I mention review? Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Can't be pushy.

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Disclamier: Now that we've established the fact that I have nothing, you should really consider listening to the Ben Folds Five song, "Brick." It's rad.

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And I'm alone

Now I know it

It seemed as if each passing day moved faster and faster. Ron, still in denial, became slightly edgy one day when Hermione mentioned her will. _This is crazy, _he thought. _19-year-olds aren't supposed to have wills._

Hermione, however, had never seemed cheerier. Ron had no idea why, but his daily visits were no longer spent watching Hermione sleep.

"Aren't you tired, 'Mione?" He asked exactly two weeks after she had told him she was going to die.

"Of course I am, Ron. I just don't want to waste a single second. I don't want anything to be left unsettled." She replied briskly, a hint of her former childish, bossy tone apparent when she spoke.

"You're so brave," he croaked, the tears welling up in his eyes without warning. "I could never…I don't know how…you're amazing."

Hermione's eyes shone as she reached for his hand. "Ron, do you ever wonder why we never…" her voiced trailed off.

He shook his head, smiling. "None of that's important to me, Hermione. We made a decision and we stuck to it. I love you no matter what."

"I love you too." She whispered. "Ron?"

"Hmm?"

"Don't come here anymore. I don't want you to be here when I…"

He looked at her. "Are you crazy? Why?" He felt the tears flowing down his cheeks without realizing they were there. _I'm such a basket case,_ he scolded himself mentally. _Why can't I hide my emotions for once? I've never cried this much in my life._

She began to cry too. "Ron…please. It would be too much for you to bear. I don't want you to see it. It would hurt me too much. So this is the last time I'll ever see you."

"NO!" He yelled, crying loudly. He was surprised that nurses weren't swarming around, dragging him away.

"Ron, just hold me, please."

He crossed the room in three strides, gathering her in his arms. Her body was nothing more than a hollow shell, and he shuddered when he realized just how thin she was. Hermione's head rested on his chest, and she sighed as she sat still, holding his hand.

"I guess this is goodbye."

"It doesn't have to be."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

It was 2:30 A.M. Ron sat up in bed, alarmed, clutching the bed sheets around him. He looked around his room before realizing-she was gone. He didn't know how he knew, he just did. She was gone.

The next morning, Ron went down to breakfast. He wasn't the least bit surprised to see his family sitting solemnly at the table, rearranging their half eaten pieces of toast on their plates.

"Ron…" his mother started, her eyes red. She had obviously been crying.

"I know," he answered quietly.

He looked across the table at his family- Ginny, the twins, his father, and…Harry?

"Ron!" Harry scrambled out of his seat, throwing his arms around his friend. "I was too late, Ron. I tried to come, I did. I was too late."

"Harry, I…" 

"It's okay, Ron. I just..." Harry began to cry, and Ron was surprised but pleased when Ginny appeared at Harry's side, putting her arms around his shoulders.

Arthur Weasley stood up and looked at his youngest son. He spoke in a quiet, gentle tone. "They say that when she…well, she had this in her hand." He handed Ron a small, crumpled piece of parchment.

With shaking hands, Ron took the parchment and unfolded it. He began to read.

Ron,

I wish with all my heart that none of this had ever happened. I wanted a future with you, I wanted to do so much. But I mustn't dwell on the past. Ron, I want you to be happy in your life. I will always love you, and I know that someday we will be together. I love you.

Hermione

Tears poured down Ron's face, and he found himself saying, "I need to be alone." He ran, ran from the house, as far as his feet would carry him. He stopped at a lake several miles from the Burrow, panting as he shakily removed a box from his pocket, a box he had been carrying for over a year. He removed a shiny ring from the box, looking at it before throwing it into the lake. Hermione's would-be engagement ring. 

With a final desperate cry, he ripped up Hermione's note and slumped against the trunk of a large oak tree, panting slightly. Hermione was gone. His Hermione. She would never be back, ever.

And it wasn't fair.


	6. Closure

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Brick

Chapter Six: Closure

Author's Note: Here we are…the final chapter. A million thank-you's to those who reviewed. I really hope you enjoyed my story.

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Disclamier: Dammit. I own nothing, okay? Geez.

Twenty eight year-old Ron Weasley shifted uncomfortably in his seat on the Muggle train. Passerby could guess that he was nervous, as he frequently wrung his hands and bit his nails. They didn't know why he was so nervous, however.  
  
Ron had gotten an owl from Ginny earlier that week. He hadn't spoken to his sister (or anyone close to him) for eight years, on the exact day when he knew Hermione had died. And now, he was going to visit Ginny. Correction: he was going to visit Ginny and her husband. Harry Potter.  
  
Ron had been surprised when he received the owl. Harry and Ginny had been married for nearly four years and had a newborn daughter. Ginny had written to Ron, begging him to visit her, as she wanted him to see his niece. Hesitant at first, Ron had finally decided that he needed to see a familiar face or two.  
  
He got off the train nearly an hour later, although it seemed like days before he stood up and walked onto the platform.   
  
And there they were. Ginny, wearing a light blue dress and holding a bundle of blankets in her arms. Harry, with his same glasses and same unmanageable haircut. His family. He smiled for the first time in eight years as he rushed forward, seizing his best friend (and brother-in-law) in a hug.   
  
Ginny looked on with a bright smile, as the baby gurgled happily.

  
"And who is this?" Ron felt himself saying, reaching out to touch the baby's soft cheek.  
  
"Ron…this is our daughter…Hermione." Ginny said slowly, looking at him nervously.  
  
"Hermione." He smiled. "I like that. Hermione." His eyes welled up with tears.  
  
And suddenly, he knew everything would be okay. 


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